Shit Damon Says; Pt. 1

"I'M A GIANT FUCKING FURRY WITH A RAINBOW VAGINA."
"I just kind of... Flashed my vagina."
"I speak fluent shitpost."
"I'm not some fucking STAND UP COMEDIAN."
"I'm my own person, DAMNIT."
"Fluent. Fucking. Gibberish."
"Pickles are the instigators of communism."
"I have a really nice dick. Two of them, actually."
♫♪ I'VE GOT AN EGG (x3) AND IT'S MADE OF MARBLE.~ ♫♪
"(With a deep voice) WITH TITTIES."
"I'm fucking comedic GOLD, what the FUCK."
"I CAN GET PAID FOR THIS SHIT."
"(In the tune of So What) And guess what, I've got some BIG TITS."
"I've got so many books, I'm gonna have a bookgasm."
"Except for the Twilight books. They kind of ruin it."
"Who the FUCK goes 'I'm gonna punch a werewolf in the face'?"
"I'd reblog the FUCK outta that."
"For five Linden, you can poke the titty."
"I love ______ in the sense I'd touch rainbows with her/him."
"When a mommy and daddy gay love eachother very much..."
"They touch rainbows and make skittles together."
"I wonder how baby books are made.."
"When two trees love eachother very much.."
"This is too gay for me. And I'm the gayest fucker here."
"This is the best thing you've ever done- except for wanting to touch my boobs."
"I have EPIC, sexy moobs."
"Where the FUCK is my jaw?"
"You wanna fight the gay way?"
"If you were gay.."
"I'd touch your butt."
"I'm pretty gay, in the gay way."
"You can't pray the gay away with me."
"I'd turn God gay."
"Want me to make it feel better? I can lick your forehead."
"I sound like I'm on drugs. But I'm not."
"I'm just.. Naturally a druggie."
"Naturally, my mind is drugs."
"What if purple had a flavor?"
"No, but what if.. We think it's grape.. But what if it's something like raspberry or something?"
"I am a sexy something."
"I love you so much, I'll pee everywhere."